A day

I chopped off my hair and put a hole through my nose. Covered the hole with a sparkling stone and got on the train with a book thick enough to keep people away.

My face buried in the book, and my mind left to wander a world away, I finally for a brief moment felt- this is ok

My eyes stop dancing to the tune of the words and my lips smiling, guide me to look up

Only to be confronted with the cold heavy reality that i still remain the same and I still suffer the dead weight of my heart

So I got off the train and hid myself in a leaky corner. Pulled out my compass and poked a hole into my thigh

Now that my throbbing thighs demanded all the attention, I could finally get on with my day

Leaving my heart to tend for itself, until it wakes up again to push me into reality


dead heart

She occupied a corner space in her dark room. Her dusty old room with grey curtains and grey dust, waiting for a broom to bring it back to life. She stayed in her corner waiting in the dark to feel her heart beat again so she could finally move from her place and blow away the dust around her. Her hair tangled, her nails chipping and her clothes withering away, she sat in her corner listening to the hollow buzz of violin that wouldn’t escape out of her head. Her eyes fixed on the nothing she found on the wall in front of her and her insides becoming more and more hollow, she waited for her heart to beat so she could blow away the dust around her.

She tried to get her heart to feel something by thinking about the infinite moments of sorrow which came together to call themselves her life. But her heart stayed hard and thick, refusing to budge. But she could feel herself vanishing away from herself and she had to feel something to exist. She helped herself to a rusty old blade and slid it across her tiny little finger. A straight line of blood appeared, a small line of tear fell from the corner of her eye, tracing a silver line down to her chin, but her heart stayed the same. She stared at her bleeding finger, waiting for it to cry out in pain, but the finger stared back at her empty eyes with nothing to offer.

She drew the blade across her arm, a deep straight line across the veins clutching onto her heart. Her arms turned red, her heart remained dead. But her eyes finally heard her plea and blurred out the nothingness in front of her, slowly drawing the curtain down until she was finally set free.

He was it

He was it for her, and she knew that in her head since school. So when they met at a reunion and spent the whole evening chatting with each other and later decided to spend the night together, it wasn’t weird for her. It was it for her.

The idea of development

The recent demonetisation stunt pulled by the PM of India caused quite an uproar across the country. For those of you who hadn’t heard of this, he woke up one day and announced across all media and television that the most highly circulating currency (Rs. 500) and the highest currency denomination (Rs. 1000) are now banned. You are to exchange these for new currency else you’ll just be a fool carrying around worthless pieces of paper. The ATMs, banks, petrol stations, Big Bazaar (for some reason), jewellery shops, electronic shops and real estate shops (markets, whatever) has seen long lines of queues. What started off as a move to take away all the black money circulating in the economy as well as all the illegal money which is being used to feed terrorists (and militants; No they are not the same thing) has now become a calculated effort to make India a cashless economy and digitise the financial sector.

You may argue that this is in fact a wonderful move, developed countries follow these policies and it works. The response to that is, India is not developed and most of its people do not have bank accounts or even access to banks. Also, developed countries are working to make the lives of people more comfortable and trying to make the economy more friendly for its people (or so they say), in India, we still have people dying of starvation, farmers committing suicide because that is the only way their family can earn some money (terms and conditions apply) and people who don’t have access to any healthcare, let alone a bank. Few of these places didn’t even know that the currency had lost its value, and by the time they caught up to this news and made a move to exchange their currency from the cooperative banks at their block or district headquarters (relatively more accessible than other banks), they are informed that the PM just declared that cooperative banks are not allowed to exchange currency or accept deposits (because he is cool that way).

I would really like to understand the thought process that went behind this decision. Did he just sit there, sipping his tea thinking, ‘Hmmm.. I think I am gonna demonetise some currency and tell people its to recover black money; what about the millions who won’t hear about this and will end up being helpless when they do? Hmmm… er… screw that! They’ll wing it. Anyway, they so poor, they probably never seen a 500 rupee note in their life’.

Boy was he wrong! Because, people in the cities and towns; people like me- this doesn’t really affect us that much. Yes, it is a bit inconvenient, but we have so many other alternatives to cash. And people who did have money stacked up- if you are somebody who was just hoarding money because you are greedy and corrupt, well, F!@# You! We are all going through this shit because of you and you have probably already found means to get rid of the currency while still retaining its value (cos he rich!)- and if you are somebody who was keeping all that money for some celebration or festivities, you should never have voted for this guy.

And I wish somebody would go and ask the PM to stop trying to make India into America. Look at them! What makes you think anything over there is working out? Just, let us be!

A fading life

You realise that you were lied to as a child when they say ‘you’ll get over it because there is a long life ahead of you’. You realise that you had actually killed yourself somewhere along the way when you eventually succeeded in stopping yourself from experiencing anymore