Strong and Independent- *Conditions Apply

I am one of those, ‘I don’t need no one. I am a strong independent woman who can handle any shit that you choose to throw my way’. But that quickly evaporates into thin air when a slippery, slimy, pasty looking lizard crosses the threshold of my front door and enters my apartment. I squeal like a frustrated 3 year old while constantly shaking off the feeling of a random lizard crawling up my back.

My friend and I have been living by ourselves in this strange new city for almost a year now, and we have managed to do everything, from finding an apartment to furnishing it to even handling a small ‘kitchen almost catching fire’, situation all by ourselves. We have proudly lugged our heavy luggage over two flights of stairs when we moved houses and have succeeded in maintaining a pretty neat and clean home for ourselves. We are both extremely introverted in nature and have only spoken to our neighbour because he has a dog. Our refusal to encourage any kind of social interaction with the people around us have been frowned upon by both our families, because they feel that it is better to have people around you to help you out in case of emergency. But we just figured that if and when such a situation arises, ‘we’ll wing it’. Little did I know that we will require additional help for an emergency situation within just months of moving into our new home!

We had just completed our chores for the day and were sitting in our cosy little living room lit by just fairy lights chatting about irrelevant stuff when suddenly, I noticed something small scurry across the ceiling. On a closer observation I realised that it was a tiny lizard which had somehow, found its way into our home through the space above our closed door. I pointed it out to my friend and we both jumped off of our comfort cushions and began panicking. ‘We have to shoo that away and we have to do it now’, said my friend looking dead serious holding a broom in her hand. ‘Please don’t use that! What if it falls down and attacks us?’ I asked her when I saw the broom in hand. She explained that brooms are supposed to scare them away and she won’t actually hit the lizard with it. So I slowly moved towards the front door and opened it while also switching off the light in our living room while my friend began her attempts of scaring the lizard out of our room using the broom. We were at it for a solid 15 minutes and that blasted lizard kept running in circles, refusing to get the hell out! We decided to become bolder and scream a bit louder so that this time it would know that we mean business. But that plan backfired when that little shit stuck its head out and stopped moving. We screamed and jumped back so that it wouldn’t fall on us if it decided to jump down.

It was at this point that two bored and un-suspicious looking gentlemen walked out of our neighbour’s apartment, across ours, and headed towards the staircase. We, being the strong independent women that we are, did not call them back and ask them for help and instead, restarted our initial game plan to scare the lizard. However, after a few minutes, the gentlemen came back to our door and asked us if we were okay. We explained the situation at hand and our game plan to handle the same. They looked at us for a moment with a look of clear confusion, and then one of them stepped up and said, bravely ‘hand me that broom. I’ll take care of this’. I instantly saw steel armours covering his body with a fancy head gear and a sword (read- broom) in hand, ready to defeat the enemy. Very quickly and efficiently, he shoved the lizard which had fallen on the floor outside to the hallway, AND he proceeded to ensure that the creature was far away from our apartment. If I didn’t see his noble stead before, I definitely heard him now. He handed back the broom, and after quick good nights and bye byes he and friend were both gone.

Yes, we are strong and independent, but when it comes to lizards (and cockroaches that fly), we really do need help from someone who are peculiar and brave enough to face these disgusting creatures.

 

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