It is how it is

Not very long ago, a friend (X) of mine was deeply hurt by another friend (Y) of mine. The entire situation was awkward and uncomfortable and the rest of us were clearly lost at how we were supposed to handle the situation. I tried my famous “let’s all just pretend that nothing changed and go on about our lives like always”, but that backfired when X began moping and weeping and I couldn’t possibly pretend that that wasn’t happening after all the crap that we have been through. Therefore, it so happened that even though I had no intention whatsoever of taking sides or getting involved in the mess, I got drawn into it when I decided to help pick X up off the sticky wet floor.

As a result, I lost touch with Y and I honestly did not want that to happen. Anyway, a lot of changes took place; we moved to different places, some of us were in college, some of us got jobs, some of us were sitting at home trying to understand the larger meaning of life, and I realised that I didn’t spend much time agonising over losing Y anymore.

After a few months into “life”, all of us decided that it was time for us to get together and spend a weekend just so we could get away from whatever “life” we were leading. The weekend happened and sometime during this get away, X realised that it was time to make things right with Y, “it was a long time ago and I have grown up. What I really need now is to move on”. For some reason, the rest of us didn’t really care much. We all just muttered something to the sense of “you want to talk to Y, sure. You don’t want to, that’s fine too”. I was surprised that we didn’t care. After all, we were all close friends once upon a time, and it was not like we all drifted apart. It was just Y who wasn’t part of our plans anymore, and we are fine if we have to add her back to it. There is nothing much to it, really.

And so, a few months later, we all met up again. This time, Y was there too. It wasn’t awkward and nobody had trouble chatting up and just being with Y. But it felt strange that nobody was even bothered enough to be affected by Y coming back after so long. Anyway, X decided that she needed to have that long overdue conversation with Y. They spoke and Y may have said sorry and meant it. Things went smoothly and it was time for us to go back to “life”. Merely few days after this, I get a call from X and she asks me how the weekend was for me. I said it truly didn’t matter much to me and I felt no surge of satisfaction or unexplainable joy that Y came. X then revealed that she wanted to speak with Y because Y had never even bothered to really apologise. And this time when Y finally did, X felt nothing. She felt stupid for actually believing that an apology was all that was required to make things right between them. The truth was that there was nothing left in there to be made right. It was over.

While X was cautiously confessing this to me, I realised that X was the only one who had held on to Y. The rest of us had let go a long time ago. I laughed when this struck me because it suddenly crashed into me that the rest of us were ruthless enough to cut the cord while X was still in mourning.

We are unforgiving bitches, and I am so fucking glad!

 

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