Vice- Catsss!!

The very first thing came into my mind when I read today’s prompt was “catsss” finish it with a hiss. My apologies to all the cat lovers, but I don’t understand how you cannot see the evilness in a cat. Cats are calculating, manipulative, sly, and pure evil (psychopathic). They want to exercise their dominance over you by claiming their space (cuddling on your lap), and when you attempt to remove the said character from your lap, it unsheathes its claws and grabs on to your clothing or exposed area of skin so as to show its reluctance to give up the space which has now become its own.

My paranormal cat experiences began since 2011 when I had just begun college. There were several cats in the hostel that I lived in, and I was even fond of a few of them. But one day, this very injured and sad looking cat entered my life. I felt bad for the cat, but i had already established my relationship with one other cat and didn’t want to take the pain of going through all the “let’s get friendly steps” again, and so I didn’t bother to pay much attention to this cat. Few days later, my friend who was also living in the same hostel brought to my notice that for some reason, that particular cat shows up wherever I go in the hostel. Once I began paying attention this, I realised that she was right. It would follow me around, and if I manage to get out of its sight and go upstairs without it noticing, it would walk around until it found me and then settle down in the very same room. I know that you think it’s adorable that a cat is following me around and that it probably wants to be loved, but not this one. When I tried to get close, or even look at its general direction, it would his at me, teeth and claws at the ready. And what is even scarier is that this cat wouldn’t run away even if I try shooing it away (yes! I shoo cats away), instead it would hiss at me again and calmly turn its back on me and slowly exit, if that is indeed what it feels like doing at the time.

After my time there, I had moved to a new city, new college, new cats and dogs! I love dogs! A dog would never hiss at me and claw at me. It may hurt you, but dogs and I get each other. We support and care for each other. Oh! but the cats… This new college had a cat too (only one) which was collectively adopted by the students and staff members of the place. It would wander around the campus and settle itself in the canteen. This one had a habit of sitting on people’s laps while they were eating or working or just hanging out. It took the same liberty with me while I was having lunch, so I politely carried it off my lap and placed it on the seat next to me and crossed my legs so that it would walk away to somebody who likes it. But instead, the cat wiggled its way back on my lap and settled itself there once again. Once again, I began my attempts to carry it off and even succeeded, however, as I placed it back on the empty seat, it clawed at my hands while hissing murderously. I had to get a tetanus shot! I hate needles!

I successfully complete my college education to find a disappointing employment in a sad city with terrible colleagues. You might think that God would at least give me a break and keep my life cat free, but Nooo. The building next to my apartment is a favoured space of a cat, who is also the mother of five kittens (beads of sweat formed on my forehead when I saw those kittens). This cat, however, was decent enough to stay away for a very long time. But later it brought out its true colours when I saw my kitchen balcony covered in kitchen waste because the cat was rummaging through my garbage for leftovers. Now, I understand that this is 50% my fault. I shouldn’t tempt the cat by leaving leftovers outside and at easy reach. I therefore stopped leaving my kitchen waste outside and would only leave dry waste (paper and plastic) out in the balcony. So you could imagine my astonishment when I saw my balcony once again stinking, this time with somebody else’s kitchen waste! While cleaning the balcony, I peeped out and saw the cat watching me intently (and I may also have heard a hiss, but I could’ve imagined that). For a while after that, it left my balcony alone until recently my roommate saw it trying to break into my house through the kitchen window (doesn’t have latches, so we just keep it shut without locking it). After hearing my experiences with cats, I may have rubbed off some of my phobia on her because she took a piece of rope and tied our kitchen window shut why would we need fresh air in the kitchen anyway. Let’s seal this forever! Now that I have a comrade by my side, I stare back into the cat’s eyes, who is in the process of teaching the kittens how to climb walls and break into apartments. I am ready for you, cat (I am also looking at apartment listings, just in case).

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2 thoughts on “Vice- Catsss!!

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    Liked by 1 person

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