She shrieked in delight when her foot left the ground and swung her high up, above the deep rocky valley, before bringing her back to solid ground. “That was high enough I think”, said the Rabbit. “No! Higher! Go higher!”, exclaimed Alice. Rabbit sighed, forcing a chuckle out of the Mad Hatter, before pulling the swing back from the edge of the valley, far enough to ensure a solid high swing, and letting go at the count of three. His ears covered themselves at the shriek that Alice let out and he held his arm out to hold Alice as she swung back. “I can never get bored of this. This will never stop being fun”, declared Alice once she got off the swing. “Oh… I am sure we will have to revisit that statement in a day or two. Why don’t you join me at the table for your hot cocoa?” asked the Mad Hatter, while gently pouring a tall glass of hot cocoa for Alice. He knew Alice dreaded the hot cocoa time, because it meant her time with them was up. Her sullen face and sunken eyes confirmed this; Mad Hatter dropped a couple of extra fluffy marshmallows for her in an attempt to distract her from the disappointment. When he saw her face light up at the bouncing marshmallows, he smiled to himself murmuring “such a child”.
“Hm? What did you say?” inquired Alice to which the Mad Hatter shook his head and asked, “I was wondering if you have given anymore thought towards making things better at home?” “I have decided to sulk less and be more receptive to his requests”, said Alice promptly, expecting an applause for her maturity. “What?! Alice No! Its horrible enough already-” began Rabbit, but the Mad Hatter cut him mid sentence and turned to Alice, “and why do you think that’s a good idea, my dear?” Alice looked confused at the Mad Hatter, and then at the Rabbit and said, “well, you are the ones who said that I should not let him harm me. If that has to happen, I need to keep him calm, and if he has to be calm then I’ll just have to do everything he says”. The Rabbit slapped his head murmuring, “Nonsense! Pea brained nonsense” to himself. The Mad Hatter however, was a little more considerate with her; he reasoned with her by asking, “Now Honey, I want you to remember what you suggested yesterday. Wasn’t it the same thing? If it didn’t work yesterday, why would it work today?” “Well! Why don’t you guys tell me what to do and I’ll just do exactly that”, screamed Alice. When she received no response from either of them, she nodded “That’s what I thought” and gulped down her hot cocoa. However, she was reluctant to finish off all the marshmallows, as that would mean she really had to go back. The Mad Hatter looked at her sympathetically, placing his hand on hers he said softly, “It’s time my love. You should get back before he finds out you’re here. You don’t want to lose this place, do you?” She nodded as she got up from the table, walked up to the edge of the hill and with a sigh, jumped down into the rocky valley.
The familiar swooshing sound in her ears came to a sudden stop and she opened her eyes to look at the portal on her ceiling which has now turned back into a mirror. She saw her pained face, covered in sweat, or tears, or maybe both. The back of his fat balding head was next to her face. She heard the familiar high pitch of his groans and waited patiently for him to finish. Her hands were tied to the headboard of the copper bed and she was dressed in the frilled pink dress and apron which he liked so much. She could see the sweat on the back of his shoulders reflected on the ceiling mirror; it made her look away in disgust. She looked past her tied up feet, at the little table by the foot of the bed. The table had a secret cabinet, which hid her most treasured belongings; Her book- Alice in Wonderland, a pencil set and her notebook. Staring at them brought her a sense of calm and made it easier to wait for him to finish.
Once the groaning grew faster and louder and ended up in a high pitched moan, his sweaty body fell on hers and she had to focus extra hard on her little treasure to distract her from the pain and disgust from where he was inside her. Once he climbed off of her, his face flushed and his hands shivering, he gently pulled her frock down and untied her. She got off the bed from the other side and was about to make her way to the bathroom when he asked her in a gentle voice, “you hate me, don’t you?” She turned towards him and shook her head no, but he continued, “I am such a monster! You hate me and I deserve it. I deserve to be hated! For taking you like that, every night! Oh my God!! I should just die!” She walked towards him and tried to comfort him, but she didn’t want to touch him. She tried smiling at his face, but he was looking down at his feet and crying. She tried to make some noise to grab his attention, but only found silence leaping out of her mouth. Rolling her eyes and cursing God for making her mute, she held his hand and smiled at him.
He looked at her like a person drowning and gasping for air and asked, “Do you hate me?” She shook her head No. She didn’t hate him, not after 7 years of seeing no one but him. She wouldn’t even know how to cultivate those feelings for him. She pitied him, and she pitied herself. She was disgusted by him, and she was disgusted by herself. She wanted to run away from him, as well as from herself. So no, she didn’t hate him. He was sick, and now, so was she.
“Do you like me then?” he asked sounding hopeful, which only increased the pity she felt for him, while she continued to shake her head ‘No’. “But you liked it though- you like what we did?”, he asked, his tone becoming stronger. She knew this was leading to a dangerous game, but she couldn’t say ‘Yes’ to that question. So she just waited and hoped that he would forget asking her the question and leave.
Instead he shoved her across the room, bashing her head against the door. Holding her throbbing head, she held one hand up to try and fend off anymore attacks. He rushed to her side and began sobbing again, blubbering out his apologies. He sat down next to her and sobbed out loud while apologizing and thrashing his own head against the door. Afraid of what he might do, she tried stopping him. He held her face in his hands and asked, “Do you not enjoy what we have? Don’t you think it’s special?” Unwilling to get hurt anymore, she nodded her throbbing head voilently as a ‘yes’ to his sad questions.
He let out a sigh of relief, kissed her forehead, then turned to look at her with a menacing grin and said, “Of course you like it, you little whore! You like what I do to you, don’t you!” and began pulling her up and leading her to the bed.
Once again, she stared at the little spot in the ceiling mirror until everything else around her faded away and she was back at the edge of the hill. She turned around to see the Mad Hatter and Rabbit waiting for her in the garden, and ran to them saying, “I think this time, I should be the one pushing Rabbit on the swing. Mad Hatter can then tell us who shrieked louder”. Mad Hatter laughed at a visibly shaken Rabbit, who began backing away from Alice who was prepared to stay a long time; long enough to chase Rabbit around the garden and force him on the swing so that she can return the favor.
greyandgreyer 